It wasn’t until I was 50 years old that I realized I was a man in a woman’s body, and what a revelation it was ! The first time I wore a binder, I felt free, amazing, and very scared for how much this was going to impact my family. At the time, I was married to a wonderful woman, who was and still does, identify as a lesbian; I knew it would be the end of my marriage.
This July will mark my second anniversary of taking testosterone, and when I look back, the changes that seemed painfully slow for me at the time, have passed so quickly. When I look at my photographs, I see a massive change from my pre-everything photo (May 2015 and 6 months after I had worn a binder for the first time), to 1 year on hormones (and very soon after top surgery), then finally after 18 months on hormones.
Now I have an Adam’s apple, I sing in the Baritone section of an LGBTQ choir; my face, muscle and skin structure has shifted and everywhere I go I am called “Sir.” This feels miraculous to me.
I see a lot of sadness when I look into the eyes of my earlier photos, and such joy in my most recent one, an aliveness that was absent before.
My message to you is, follow your heart. It’s never to late to become the person you know you truly are !
Relational Psychotherapy & Hypnotherapy Toronto 